I bumped into a rather interesting chapter of a strange book that claims to prove that the real Christian Sabbath is actually Saturday, not Sunday. To me, the arguments sound rather convincing. (I read chapters 9-12, FWIW.) However, I do take issue with one point in particular:
"What if an emergency situation appears, requiring work on the Sabbath?"
Many have struggled with the issue of what qualifies as an "ox in the ditch" situation. Through that example (Matt. 12:10-11; Luke 14:1-5), Christ defined it as an unforeseen situation beyond our control.
Some have liberalized this issue by digging a ditch on Friday, intentionally unlocking the gate, leading the ox onto the road, and pushing it into the ditch. They are often [always] Pharisaical [read: Orthodox] in their lists of "do's [sic] and don'ts," but then try to get around them by pushing the ox into the ditch. Some forget that the Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath. Overly focusing on the day, they go to the opposite extreme, worshipping it, instead of the God who made it.The author doesn't give us Orthodox Jews sufficient credit. A real "Yiddishin Cup" (Jewish head) would make sure to set up a Rube Goldberg machine to open the gate and catapult a piece of cheese to land at the feet of the ox at the right time, with the resulting mouse driving the ox towards a ditch dug moments earlier by a meteor that was deflected a year earlier in order to land right outside the gate. Unfortunately, the meteor misses the entrance by a few feet, but that's not a problem, since back on Friday, the Jew paid a "Sabbath Driver" to be parked on the side of the road the following day, and to ram the ox into the ditch should the ditch miss the ox. "What ditch?" "Don't worry, you'll see the ditch here (or maybe a little off to the side, here) tomorrow; I just need you to make sure my ox ends up in it, wherever it ends up being. You can do that for me, my Gentile friend, right?" Of course, we believe that you're not allowed to tell your "Sabbath Gentile" what to do, even before the Sabbath, so paying a "Sabbath Driver" doesn't quite work. Luckily, there's another way: you plant a nail in the meteor on Friday in such a way that when the meteor lands, the nail falls next to it, right in the middle of the road, a few seconds before Chris down the street on his way home from the game crosses that stretch of road, and stops for the resulting flat tire. Not to worry, though, since Joe's on his way from home to _his_ game (running a couple of minutes late, as usual), when he notices his friend Chris with a flat tire, and as he quickly pulls over to the side of the road, Moishe's ox comes charging out, chased by a mouse. Joe attempts evasive maneuvers, but then the ox gets scared and turns around, and next thing Joe knows, he hits the ox, oy, right into the ditch! ("Where did that ditch come from???") Joe and Chris then hear a loud "Yes!" from Moishe's house, followed by the sound of his new 5 megawatt home theatre system hooked up to the 120" gas plasma TV. The circuit breaker trips. "Not to worry, Feigele! Shmuiel's ox is scheduled to hit the ditch in 5, 4, 3..."
Here's an entertaining email I got from a friend. Enjoy:
Do dogs go to heaven?
This is literally a 'church signs' debate, being played out in a Southern US town, between Our Lady of Martyrs Catholic Church, and Cumberland Presbyterian, a fundamentalist church. From top to bottom shows you the response and counter-response over time. The Catholics are displaying a much better sense of humor! You get the impression that the Presbyterians are actually taking this seriously and are getting a bit upset...
Forward to all animal lovers and you'll get a cookie or doggie biscuit.
[This is where the image appears. For those of you with Lynx or Elvis, I've converted it into text:]
- Catholic Church
- ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN
- Presbyterian Church
- ONLY HUMANS GO TO HEAVEN READ THE BIBLE
- Catholic Church
- GOD LOVES ALL HIS CREATIONS DOGS INCLUDED
- Presbyterian Church
- DOGS DONT [sic] HAVE SOULS THIS IS NOT OPEN FOR DEBATE
- Catholic Church
- CATHOLIC DOGS GO TO HEAVEN PRESBYTERIAN DOGS CAN TALK TO THEIR PASTOR
- Presbyterian Church
- CONVERTING TO CATHOLOCISM DOES NOT MAGICALLY GRANT YOUR DOG A SOUL
- Catholic Church
- FREE DOG SOULS WITH CONVERSION
- Presbyterian Church
- DOGS ARE ANIMALS THERE AREN'T ANY ROCKS IN HEAVEN EITHER
- Catholic Church
- ALL ROCKS GO TO HEAVEN
Here's a rather interesting article: I Don't Believe In Atheists!. Make of it what you will.
