Fortune Quotes

The UNIX fortune(6) program has all sorts of cool quotes. Here are some of my favorites:

An opinion should be the result of thought, not a substitute for it.
--Jef Mallett
There are but two kinds of pain in this world. The pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Now choose.
Recursive: Adj. See Recursive.
God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?
If tyranny and oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
- James Madison
I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
A wise man knows everything, a shrewd man knows everybody.
The Wise adapts himself to the world. The Fool adapts the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the Fool.
guns kill people like spoons make Rosie O'Donnell fat.
Contrary to popular belief, Unix is user friendly. It just happens to be particular about who it makes friends with.
GetOuttaMySpace - The Anti-Social Network
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it's all about?
I don't have a microwave. I do, however, have a clock that occasionally cooks shit.
"Heavenly Father, I wish to file a Bug Report..."
People who need govt to enforce their religion must not have much faith in the power of its message.
"It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education."
-Albert Einstein
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
"The price good men pay for indifference to public affairs is to be ruled by evil men."
~Plato (427-347 BC)
The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended.
(Rowan Atkinson)
"God is dead" - Nietzsche, 1882. "Nietzsche is dead" - God, 1900
I've noticed even people who believe in destiny and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road
If you believe everything you read, you'd better not read.
- Japanese proverb
Abortion is advocated only by persons who have themselves been born.
--Ronald Reagan
[ ]Half Empty [ ]Half Full [x]Twice as big as it needs to be
"Never smoked pot, but I have set fire to a frying pan." -jd
Science? Religion? I'm listening to the guy with the lens in a tube rather than the guy with the corpse on a stick
If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
"Those who study history are doomed to watch others repeat it." -R. Scott McNulty
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
-Carl Sagan
Support bacteria. It's the only culture some people have.
"It ain't what you don't know that gets you in trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so."
- Mark Twain
If the individual has the right to govern himself, all external government is tyranny.
Benjamin R. Tucker
"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves"



Best Viewed with Lynx or Elvis

Copyright (C) 2006-2008 Dave Cohen; permission granted to modify and/or redistribute subject to the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License version 1.2 or later