"nano? REAL PROGRAMMERS USE emacs [sic]"

"HEY. _REAL_ PROGRAMMERS USE vim."

"WELL, _REAL_ PROGRAMMERS USE ed."

"NO, REAL PROGRAMMERS USE cat."

"_REAL_ PROGRAMMERS USE A MAGNETIZED NEEDLE AND A STEADY HAND."

"EXCUSE ME, BUT _REAL_ PROGRAMMERS USE BUTTERFLIES."

"THEY OPEN THEIR HANDS AND LET THE DELICATE WINGS FLAP ONCE.

"THE DISTURBANCE RIPPLES OUTWARD, CHANGING THE FLOW OF THE EDDY CURRENTS
IN THE UPPER ATMOSPHERE.

"THESE CAUSE MOMENTARY POCKETS OF HIGHER-PRESSURE AIR TO FORM,

"WHICH ACT AS LENSES THAT DEFLECT INCOMING COSMIC RAYS, FOCUSING THEM TO
STRIKE THE DRIVE PLATTER AND FLIP THE DESIRED BIT."

"NICE.  'COURSE, THERE'S AN EMACS COMMAND TO DO THAT."

"OH YEAH!  GOOD OL' C-x M-c M-butterfly..."

"DAMMIT, EMACS."