This is my boredom section. If you like being bored out of your wits with useless quotes, silly ideas, and other stuff that's too boring even for my blog, then you've come to the right place :-)
People ask me if I've ever seen a miracle. Well, I just did: my peanut butter sandwich fell on the floor and landed bread side down, a clear violation of Murphy's Law.
Here's an interesting question I've heard ten million times, but I've never heard the answer: What happens when you strap a butter sandwich to the back of a cat and drop the combination? Will the sandwich land butter-side down, or will the cat land on its feet? Since the cat has more mass, I suspect it would probably manage to outmuscle the sandwich and land on its feet, unless you were hoping to eat the sandwich, of course.
Since we know that the heavens aren't far from absolute zero, why is freezing in them any better than burning in Hell?
Here's an interesting quote from Make The Move:
[Linux] is the fastest growing operating system in the world...There is one factual error and one rather disconcerting truism in there. The factual error is in calling Linux an operating system, when in practice Linux is nothing but a kernel. It can't even compile itself. GNU is the operating system that people refer to when they talk about Linux as if it were one. The disconcerting truism is that Linux is indeed growing at a rather alarming rate. A recent snapshot takes 337 megabytes on my hard drive, and that's before configuring or compiling. Back in the good ol' days, I ran my entire GNU operating system (including a custom-compiled Linux kernel) on a partition smaller than that. On the other hand, today's GNU operating systems are far more stable, more efficient, and more compatible with hardware, and all of those qualities can be traced directly to the Linux kernel's "fattening up." Maybe thinner isn't always better, eh?
Here's a funny tagline I just thought about for Java (supposedly "Write once, run everywhere"): write once, crawl everywhere :-)
This Wikipedia article gave me quite a laugh:
A few Christian sects even advocated celibacy as a better way of life for everyone. These groups included the following: The Shakers, The Harmony Society, and The Ephrata Cloister. These groups no longer exist.I assume those same groups didn't believe in the theory of Evolution, either. Well, at least they helped in proving it to the rest of us ;-)
Daniel J. Bernstein is a wise man, and wise men seem to enjoy pointing out all the things that are wrong with our society. Sometimes, the rest of us can extract some entertainment value from the words of wise men. Here's an interesting excerpt from DJB's "UTC, TAI, and UNIX time" page (taken out of context):
The main obstacle is POSIX. POSIX is a ``standard'' designed by a vendor consortium several years ago to eliminate progress and protect the installed base. The behavior of the broken localtime() libraries was documented and turned into a POSIX requirement.If you read the rest of the page, you'll see how he hit the nail right on the head.
Fortunately, the POSIX rules are so outrageously dumb---for example, they require that 2100 be a leap year, contradicting the Gregorian calendar---that no self-respecting engineer would obey them.
20090506: I had quite a laugh reading this description of a rackmount UPS:
I wonder where their translator learned his English. (Perhaps that's why they had to put it on clearance? ...or maybe it's just because of the crappy terms and conditions for their warranty?)Powercom King RM KIN-2200APRM 3U/19in Rackmount UPS, 2200VA/1320 Watts, 6 Outlets (4 UPS+2 Surge). pad Part Number: UPS-KIN-2200APRM $289.99 Quantity: ___ Add to Cart Powercom King RM KIN-2200APRM 3U/19" Rackmount UPS, 2200VA/1320 Watts, 6 Outlets (4 UPS+2 Surge), RS-232C Bi-directional Interface Most enterprises have resorted to the Internet to take care of business; however, once the Internet got disconnected due to problems of power, the enterprises may suffer enormous lose and damage. While corporations are much more dependent upon the Internet, the reliability of network cannot be guaranteed from failure-proof. Viewing this, the world-leading PCM launches the series of King Pro to deliver mighty output power. King Pro is endowed with strong accommodation to net, and it will not contaminate net; in addition, King Pro is efficient at dealing with various complexity of loading so that it can ensure that the large-sized network and critical conducting appliances are operating with constancy, security, and stability. Specifications: Model Type: KING RM. Model Name: KIN-2200APRM. AC Input: AC Input Capacity on Battery: 2200VA. AC Input Voltage: (+/-) 25% at line input. AC Input Frequency: 50 or 60 Hz+/-10% (auto sensing). AC Output: AC Output Voltage: Simulated sine ware at 100V or 110V/115V/120V or 220V/230V/240V +/-5%. AC Output Frequency: 50 or 60 Hz +/- 0.5%. AC Output Voltage Regulation: AVR automatically increase output voltage 15% above input voltage if -9% to -25% of nominal. AVR decrease output voltage 13% below input voltage if +9% to +25% of nominal. AC Output Transfer: 2/4 milliseconds, including detection time. Protection: Protection Spike: 320 Joules, 2ms. Protection EMI/RFI: 10dB at 0.15 MHz, 50 dB at 30 MHz. Protection Overload: UPS automatic shutdown if overload exceeds 110% nominal at 60 sec and 130% at 3 sec. Protection Unit: Fuse for overload & short circuit protection. Protection 10 BaseT: Network (UTP, RJ-45) compatible jacks. Protection Short Protection: UPS output cut off immediately or input fuse protection. Battery: Battery Type: Sealed, Maintenance-free lead acid. Battery Typical: 8 hours (to 90% of full capacity). Battery Protection: Automatic self-test & discharge protection, replace battery indicator. Battery Run Time: 85 - 95 minutes. Physical: Physical Dimension mm RM: 483x351x130 (3U). Indicator: LED: LED. Alarm: Alarm Battery Backup: Slow beeping sound (about 0.47 Hz). Alarm Battery Low: Rapid beeping sound (about 1.82Hz). Alarm Overload: Continue beeping sound. Interface: Interface RS-232: RS-232C Bi-directional communication port. Environment: Environment Ambient: 3,500 meters max. elevation, 0-95% humidity non-condensing, 0-40 deg c. Environment Audible: <40dBA (1 meter from surface). Environment Storage Condition: 15,000 meters max. ShowOrder: 26. References: | [58]Powercom Company Website | Limited [59]Warranty: One year from invoice date with Directron.com. 30-Day money back from receiving date with 15% [60]restocking fee for non-defective returns. No credit or refund after 30 days. Customer is responsible for returning defective products including DOA due to manufacturer unless [61]testing is paid before shipping. (duck092107) $25 End-User Mail-In Rebate: Powercom is now presenting a mail-in rebate for Powercom King RM KIN-2200APRM 3U/19" Rackmount UPS. Promotion begins 04/01/09 and ends on 04/30/09. This promotion cannot be combined with any other promotion. Claim your rebate through the rebate form and follow mailing instructions. Note, incomplete forms will be denied as well as forms mailed too late. Manufacturer is not responsible for lost or misdirected mail. The promotion is not retroactive. [62]Click here to download the rebate form.
20090601: I just bumped (again, after many years since last time I saw it) into one of the funniest sigs I can remember reading:
When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
20090604: Here's a tragically funny "evil fortune cookie" from insult-o-matic:
It's sad that this joke is funny, primarily because it's true. That said, it's still quite funny :-)You will rear-end a car-full of lawyers. - -Anonymous.
Here's another one - this time, funny even without lawyers:
...and another one:You're so fat if you wore a yellow jacket in the street, people would be shouting taxi.
...and another one:There is travel in your future when your tounge freezes to the back of a speeding bus. - "Weird Al" Yankovic.
...and another one:You will be given a melon as a gift-unfortuantley it will be dropped on you from a tall building - Sam the junkie.
...and finally one last one:"My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him." - Jack Handey.
The funny thing about the last one is that the only piece of information they need in order to "[use] a complex algorithm to generate over 335 different Evil Fortune Cookie insults" is your name, but clearly their "complex" algorithm was too simple-minded to consider the possibility that "Dave" might not even be a girl's name. They'll probably claim that their algorithm is actually quite complex, and that it's only trying to fool me into thinking it's simple. If you believe that, I've got a state-of-the-art blog - generated by a very complex algorithm (so complex, in fact, that you don't even have to enter your name for it to do its stuff!) - to sell you. While we're at it, perhaps I can interest you in a certain bridge that I'm willing to sell you for a good deal ... you must understand, it's quite a bargain at this price I'm offering you today, but you have to act now, before it's too late. . .U will wait to have sex and the first time u do u will get a STD and become inpregnanted. And the father will disappear. - Get a life.
20090607: Here's an interesting comment about Mr. Obama, found on Barely A Blog:
I would be in favor of raising Comrade O's salary on the condition that he plays golf all the time, every day, everywhere in the country with his entire cabinet, no phones, no radios, and no blackberries -- just golf all the time. It would be worth every penny to us to have them do nothing. That's Constitutional, isn't it?I guess the obvious question is, why bother having a president at all, if all we want him to do is play golf, anyway? Who's the last president we had, whom we'd want to do anything but play golf all day?
By Stephen Hayes on 05.31.09 6:22 pm
20090609: Here's a funny joke (from here):
A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee.
The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet.
She goes over and whiffs it completely. Then she hacks it another ten feet, and finally hacks it another five feet. She looks up at the patiently waiting men and says apologetically,
`I guess all those f...ing lessons I took over the winter didn't help.'
One of the men immediately responds,
`Well, there you have it, you should have taken golf lessons instead!'
Here's an interesting quote from an article about a failed trial for a new South Korean automated defense system designed to replace soldiers on patrol missions:
Defense News reports that the present robotic network was described as "unfit for combat" by South Korean officials, following lengthy comparison of the kit against regular front-line fighting fleshies. The $4m, year-long pilot project was run by Samsung, and is believed to have included the company's SGR-A1 robotic security station, which features electro-optic sensors and a weapons mount for a light machine gun, gas-bomb launcher or rubber-bullet weapon. ... This might not be altogether surprising, as it is apparently far from impossible to sneak up on an SGR-A1. Samsung's engineers have felt it necessary to equip the droid's gun mount with an anti-theft alarm, which doesn't speak volumes for their confidence in its surveillance capability.
20090722: Here's a rather interesting tidbit from Wirefly:
I wonder what's so special about the number 477, that _most_ users would carefully plan out a month to use exactly 477 minutes. (I guess this is what happens when people misread statistics.)The number of minutes most users spend talking on their cell phone during a month is 477.
20090819: Here's a funny passage from an article at Answers in Genesis:
I once did a telescope session with a small group of people, including a four-year-old boy who was particularly interested in astronomy. I asked this young budding astronomer if he believed in alien spaceships. "Of course," he said. I then asked him why he believed in alien spaceships. I'll never forget his clever response: "How else would the aliens get here?"As a sidenote, I'd like to point out that the article itself makes for a rather interesting read. What he calls "begging the question" is really just a special case of making an assumption that we can't all agree on. In practice, there's nothing requiring me to believe that laws of logic exist, and there's no rule requiring me to disprove their existence, since you can't prove their existence, and so we're even. Therefore, the hypothetical guy who walks in and says "Laws of logic don't exist," and then walks out, is making an argument that's no less valid than the guy who uses the assumption in the article. We just prefer to believe that laws of logic exist as a purely practical matter, since they make the world appear far more boring (i.e., less random), and after all, there's no known proof that they don't exist (and it's trivial to prove the impossibility of any such proof being logical in nature, as the article points out). Therefore, in order to be able to waste hours on logical arguments, we have decided to assume the laws of logic exist (or to create them if they don't). We have then used those laws to create an entire science; we call it Mathematics. Strangely, it seems to do a fantastic job of explaining most things in our world, including evolution. The article makes good points about the lack of any firm proof for evolution on a macro scale, but we can demonstrate microevolution very easily in the lab, which is about the best we can realistically hope for, being that we don't live forever. Above all, though, we have no reason to doubt evolution, since its most obvious logical proof is based on only simple assumptions that we pretty much have to believe in order to engage in any type of half serious study of Biology. <missionizing>In my religion, of course, God doesn't tell us to disbelieve evolution; being that we ate from the tree of knowledge, God tells us to think evolution (just like anything else) through carefully, and figure out for ourselves how it works (or if it works, for that matter, although that part of the question is pretty well-settled, by now).</missionizing>
20091016: After three strikes, you're out, right? Well, this guy sustained seven strikes, and lived to tell the tale.
20091016: This "seven" just arrived in my inbox (only hours after I stumbled into the last one (on Wikipedia): Boy, 7, Hit By Deer While Playing Football
20091109: You know a company can't figure out how to count when Windows 7 comes after Windows 2000, which came after Windows 98, which came after Windows 95, which came after Windows 3. Now, just in case you've worked out a method to the numbers, our fried Bill hits you with some letter combinations, like NT (and even NT with numbers, like NT 3) and XP. You're supposed to know, of course, that NT 3 came after 3, but before XP. Hey, anybody remember Microsoft Bob? Eh, that's okay - I don't either.